Deanna Repose Oaks

All about my written words.

Poetry

Dr. Seuss Day…

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… aka Read Across America Day 2022 is March 2, 2022.

I never thought reading about a national day of reading would make me feel so much. When I planned this post, I planned to write about how Dr. Seuss was my first favorite author, and how his stories spawned my love of poetry, but then I realized it might be too repetitive (see My Love of Poetry). To keep from being repetitive, I changed tactics and decided to research the day instead. The Mandela Effect had me believing March 2nd was “Dr. Seuss Day” when, in actuality, it is “Read Across America Day” – a day celebrates reading on Dr. Seuss’s birthday because he’s the author that got a LOT of us reading. Easy to confuse, right?

National Educational Association, who founded Read Across America Day in 1998, encourages educational institutions and libraries to inspire people to read. They set up a calendar with suggested readings for every month, not just March… scrolling through their calendar, the following entries sent me sideways.

  • Nov 2021: Explore Ancestry and Identity [I don’t have that, I’m adopted]
  • Feb 2022: Explore Families and History [Both of mine are broken]
  • Apr 2022: Nuture a Sense of Belonging [I’m a white girl with latin culture, always out of place]

Instead of writing an uplifting post about Dr. Seuss’s “day”, here I am sobbing my eyes out over my broken families and lack of true family history. Re-feeling all the rejection I have felt from EVERY facet of of my life, most times twice.

As a writer, I’m supposed to write stories that make you WANT to read what I write. Please forgive me for all the feels. I promise to write something better next time.

I don’t know if I’m freaked out that the algorithm knew I needed to read this or if the universe sent me this saying on purpose today:

Either way, I think it is a fitting reminder that it doesn’t matter if the people I love do not return their love to me, as long as I love myself. Now, I’m off for some self-care.

I Lied

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I lied; it was easier than facing the truth.
Way better than being rude…
One small lie became another;
First to a stranger, then to my lover.
The lies got so frequent, I could no longer see truth.
No matter how hard I tried, POOF!
The lines, once walls, are now so easily crossed.
Integrity, ethics, and honesty, all tossed.
It was then that I realized there was one thing to do,
Run for office, and work for you.

Best Laid Plans

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Best laid plans of mice and men
Best laid plans of mice and men
Echos through my dreams as I wake
The sound of cracking bones fading from my ears
As the next breath escapes, the dream is buried deep
So deep the rotting carcass won’t smell
And remind me of the beating heart
That once was; that will never be
Best laid plans of mice and men
“Of Mice and Men”
Steinbeck’s title reverberates through my memory
Bringing me forward to what could be
From what used to be
A poem
A poem, written by Robert Burns, 1785
If only

Oblivion

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Music, mayhem, drunks
swirling faster than
a twirly spoon in
craft cocktails
Through the room

– so alive with sound and drowning in booze –

I see my passed life

Pass before my eyes
Life’s spectral ghosts unseen by those younger than I

Wavering on the precipice of youth
Trying to build the handrail to
Keep me upright, inside

Music, mayhem, drunks
now
swirling faster
toward…

Journal #13

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So, I screwed up my deadline again… mostly because I was busy trying to figure out how to record my poems. Learning how to record is interesting, but time-consuming and emotionally draining. I didn’t realize how much my using my voice to vocalize my poetry would drain me.

One day slipped into the next, and before I knew it, it was July 11th, the time for my journal and my poem was late. Oh well, can’t get the deadline back, it’s already passed!

Then, I found more than my fair share of poetry contests. Entering away, putting my (hopefully my) best foot forward. Putting myself out there beyond this blog that no one reads. We’ll see if anything comes of it.

Well, that’s my writing life for this month, anyway.