Deanna Repose Oaks

All about my written words.

journal

Journal #37

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As the new year starts, I’m reviewing the goals I set during the past year. The only goals I set for myself was to publish 300 writing prompt answers (of which I completed 28) and to stop beating myself up so much so I will write more. Well, I am writing more.

I am making good on not beating myself up for not writing the prompt responses, as 2020 went sideways on everyone. I am also not beating myself up for not finishing the novel I’ve been trying to write forever.

I am celebrating the fact that I am making headway with the journals and writing daily, even if no one sees it.

My goals for 2021 are as follows: finish at least 1 novel (or novella) and get it published and publish at least one book of poetry. I’m also going to reread the Elements of Style.

Journal #35

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Sitting here, I wish I published a little further in advance. I’m not good about that though, because I like to write in the moment and feel that the moments will not pack the same punch if read about months after they happen. Here is it December as I write this, if I write about holiday stuff and post in February that would be weird. To battle that weirdness, I am not posting too far ahead. A week at most. I think this tact is better than trying to make up feelings/thoughts/ramblings about February in December. The struggle to be consistent happens when LIFE happens. And 2020 has been LIFE on steroids. It is crazy how much we have all gone through together and yet separately all at the same time. And the hits keep on coming.

I am doing my best to keep up my weekly journal if nothing else. I missed a few weeks in November. I’m not regretting the gap though, as I needed to deal with LIFE. December is bringing even more LIFE, but I decided to keep on pace because I realized that if I had kept journaling in November, the LIFE part wouldn’t have felt so bad. Keeping myself sane is becoming more important in dealing with LIFE.

Sanity, what is that nowadays? Is it something we can only imagine now? Or is it that sanity is today what insanity used to be? My favorite quote is from Edgar Allen Poe and seems to fit so well: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”

Journal Entry #6

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Sitting here, either beating myself up because I am not writing or watching Hallmark movies or both, depending on the night. Tonight’s movie sent the message LOUD and clear that I need to get on the sled that keeps circling the block. I need to start doing what I love to do (what I am COMPELLED to do) and stop worrying about what other people will think of how I am doing it or what I have done. I read plenty of books that are not Pulitzer Prize winners or Manbooker contenders, so I am sure there are people who will read the drivel that I write as well. (Yes, I am currently beating myself up!) I started this blog to ensure that I kept writing monthly, but my posts have absolutely NO VALUE to anyone. I am just blathering on about how I can’t write or I am in a funk of not writing. Ha! I know that other writers go through this…

My goal for 2019 is to continue posting twice a month on this blog and finish at least 1 of the 2 books that I am working on. Let’s see if I can meet (or exceed?) this goal by the end of next year! Until next month!

Journal Entry #3

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I spent the last week observing people. The tall, handsome man at the front desk. The efficient waiter at the restaurant. The casual diner at the cafe. The old woman walking her older dog. A family on vacation. A group of teens goofing off on the lawn. These observations serve as entertainment for my writer’s brain as well as material for characters that have yet to materialize. Sitting down and describing the color of their hair, the way they sat (or stood or walked) or anything that distinguishes them from any other person on the planet wasn’t as easy as writing this post. Characters are more than descriptions of what they look like, it is describing things that make them tick, who they are as people. But, how do you notice what makes them tick without invading their life and asking? You create a plausible backstory. One that builds the things that make them tick.

Sounds easy, right? Sure, until they do something that goes against their backstory and ruins everything. The old woman walking her even older dog should not have greeted another adult and left without the dog from the middle of the park. The back story of her buying the dog to fill the empty house was incorrect. It wasn’t her dog. These incorrect assumptions happen in real life… and sometimes, they happen in my writing life as well. How many times have I written a character and they do exactly opposite of what makes them tick? At first, I thought of myself as being a “bad writer” for not knowing my characters as fully as I should have known them before I started writing. This week of observation and backstory convinced me that maybe, just maybe the part of the character I have not counted upon is what makes the story richer with discovery. And, if they surprise me, they will surprise my readers as well as deepen the story.

I’m going to run with that for the time being. See where this path leads.