I am scared of ants. It started when I heard the story of the girl who had an ant crawl into her ear and lay eggs. Every time I see them, I feel them crawling on me for three or more days.
I am also very scared of rats. A company I worked for moved into a building that had an infestation of epic proportions. The exterminators were catching them for WEEKS. Two fell through the ceiling tiles over my head while I was on the phone with a client. I was fired on the spot and have been fearing them ever since.
But what I am most afraid of is: success. Every time I get close to it, I run away, cowering behind whatever I can find. The vastness of what success means is overwhelming. It is something I have always feared most of all, ever since I can remember. I don’t know what triggered it or how it forced me to fail on purpose at every turn. I do know how I feel as I fail, closer to success and afraid to try again. The fear has gotten so crippling lately that I have locked myself in my room.