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artistry

Journal #36

December 27, 2020 by Deanna Repose Oaks

I find that I am always writing in my head but hardly ever writing “on paper” … the words don’t live up to the vision in my head. I think it is because I see stories like movies and it is hard to describe what I see and the emotions it evokes to the quality I want to get there.

“The artist in me creates, the critic in me destroys” – I don’t know who said this, can’t find the source on Google, but know that this is a quote. And for many years, I felt that is what held me back. Even when I was succeeding, I was tearing myself apart.

Now, it is the editor in me that won’t let me get past the point of first draft. I don’t know how to turn my editor brain off – I started saying “I’ll fix it in post” but it doesn’t work all the time. Sometimes it is self defeating because I feel I will never get to post….

I started this blog so that I would force myself to write, to publish, to get me past the hurdle I put in front of myself. It isn’t quite working. I have a portion of my work done, but not enough to get out there. And I’m stuck thinking I’m never going to get it out there.

Okay, now that I have written that, I’m going to close the web browser and open my work and write some for that.

Thanks for reading!

Filed Under: My Writing Life Tagged With: artistry, writing

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