I need 24 hours of sleep. Not just the 2 hours I normally get or the 8 hours I get when I am really lucky. I need a full 24 hour day of deep sleep. At least that is what I tell myself as my mind is going crazy because it can’t think and I am forcing it to.
“If only I could sleep for a full day…”
But in my heart, I know this won’t happen. Being a new mom is just so overwhelming. I knew it was going to be bad, but not this bad. My mom’s advice, from 3,000 miles away, of “Just sleep when the baby sleeps” doesn’t quite work when you have no one else to take care of all the things that need to get taken care of like eating, laundry, paying bills, working…
There is just too much to do, so I sleep when I can no longer stay awake. Sometimes that means sleeping while standing up over a sink of dirty dishes.
Even though I have this great need, I put my child first always because his smile lights up my life with enough light I can’t sleep through it, even if I tried.
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